His name will live forever

All the money sent to our family when we lost Aaron was deposited to a special account while we determined what Aaron would have liked us to do with the money.  Matthew was the first to link Aaron's love of learning and his very special kinship with Dr. Jon Clauss of Augustana College.

Aaron graduated from High School at 17 and entered Augustana on an academic scholarship. After a year and half he told me he was quitting school and moving to Texas to work with his brother Matt. I was upset with Matt at the time for luring him away and even called Dr. Clauss to try to talk Aaron out of his decision.  But, Clauss said it was up to Aaron.  You can't imagine how proud I was of Aaron when several years later he called to tell me he was returning to Augustana.  This time, he said, "I am doing it for me".  I was even prouder when Buzz and Samantha and I witnessed his graduation.  Amongst all the photos, the one Aaron liked the most was the photo of him and Dr. Clauss, their arms around each other, in jeans, sunglasses and caps and gowns.

Aaron maintained his friendship with Dr. Clauss and in his last few months sought his help in applying for a Fulbright Scholarship to study in New Zealand.  He had determined to take an in depth look at how minority policies in the United States had impacted the minority population.  He chose that course of analysis because his sister, Lindsay, a bi racial child had experienced "lower expectations" because she was "black".  Academic expectations were lower for minority students, a hidden implication that somehow she couldn't be expected to achieve.  And that was something neither Aaron nor Lindsay would tolerate.

It seemed most appropriate to each of us, Matthew, Joshua, Samantha, Lindsay and me, that Aaron's thirst for knowledge be acknowledged through an educational scholarship at the college he loved.  The funds,(and they were substantial), were invested in an endowment and beginning the fall of 2006 someone will receive a scholarship from the earnings.  The first scholarship, based only upon 5 months of investment will be $1,250.  And it will grow each year, forever, in Aaron's name.

We set some criteria for the award.  We asked that preference be given to single parent households and that no single award should be less than $1,000.  Additionally, Dr. Clauss may make a recommendation based on his knowledge of Aaron and the students he will lead during his tenure.

To each who contributed, we thank you. Because of your enormous generosity, the Aaron Patrick Smith Memorial Scholarship will continue to support a growing number of students for as long as Augustana remains in existance.  Long after we have joined Aaron and are each forgotten, Aaron will continue.

While nothing in this world will ever compensate for the loss of Aarons brillance and his humor and his all encompassing hugs, we are each comforted by the thought that Aaron would be pleased.

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[Joshua aka Buddha]

So little one I know work at Stern Bev. everyone there is nice and all have a positive memory of you. A few month ago I thought "man what the hell is wrong with me?" I seem to be handling this better than everyone. But think that with all the crap I've gone threw in my life was preparing me for this... The other morning a deer hit my truck, and when i got out the damn thing was still alive. I looked dead into its eye, and I swear i got a glimps of you. Since then I've been freaked out... I've been thinking that maybe you where that deer, and ... fuck it I'm getting way to deep into this... Just remember we love you and miss you. come talk to me some night.... Love jOshua

[me]

6 months and 2 days. it seems so long ago, and then again it seems like yesterday that we lost aaron. i guess any tragedy has that impact on those affected. there are certain things i think about in my head over and over and over again, and i can't shake them. i think about how much he just needed a release. i think about what life would be like if he was still here. i think about the person i would be if he was still here. i think about the person that i am because he's not. nothing seems to make it any better. as soon as you have a moment of happiness, it becomes a fleeting second because you instantly think of aaron and what it would be like if he was there, sharing that moment with you.

all i can say.......it hurts.